I arrived in Morocco with Straight hair and left with curly hair. The pictures here aren’t the best of my hair, All I applied was a leave in conditioner by Curly Ellie and then let it air dry. This holiday was one I’ll never forget, it came at a time where I had built a momentum in a lot of personal achievements and where so much crazy stuff happened, some good and some bad that made it so memorable! I think most people, myself included might expect me to write about Morocco, but that’s not what I felt passionate about writing, instead, I had a lot of reflections about hair perfectionism, social media, the numbers game and feeling like your behind…
This holiday made me care less about my hair despit being so worried about it at the beginning… I think I get quite hung up on it and when my hair was not as perfectly curly has before I felt a bit meh. As a blogger whose main catch and content is her hair, it can make you quite obsessed with its perfection. I was worried about taking pictures because my hair was still recovering from being straightened, and if it didn’t look perfect then I can’t possibly post a picture! I don’t want to be like this, it can get quite superficial I’m passionate about hair but I don’t want too much energy to be taken away by my perfectionism of it.
I had planned to TRY and make some content for my social media while I was away, take some photos, video etc etc. But it didn’t turn out how I had imagined. You see these vloggers, influences or whoever is on social media flaunting their life, make it so easy. But it really wasn’t… I’m not photogenic, and I hardly ever get a picture of myself that I like. I live too much in the moment to want to pick up a camera (despite wanting to be a filmmaker) and with new experiences, I want to see it with my own eyes. Even if I plan ahead I stumbled. Don’t get me wrong we did pick up the camera, but I didn’t create the quality I had imagined in my head. I can snap chat easily but not for what I had wanted for my blog.
I learned that I prefer to live in the moment and I’m not one to keep up with the Instagram game. I want my feed to look pleasing, not perfect but near enough! I don’t want it to be selfies every day (a personal preference, I couldn’t even get a selfie I like every day!) and Posting every day, in general, is a hard task for a semi-perfectionist like myself. Now, I know I was on holiday, but I felt like I was losing some momentum and falling behind as these others girls were killing it! On the one hand, I felt pressured, on the other I didn’t even want to return. I was never a big Instagram buff in the first place but It’s helped people to see my blog more which is my main use for it and it’s helped me connect with people more personally, which is the most rewarding part! Sometimes, I find, you get stuck on the numbers and that you can feel quite slow like a turtle, despite feeling like your output is of a high standard this can be discouraging. But i’m learning to focus on my own path, not others.
So now I’m back… and I feel like I’m starting again. Outside of this blog, which I chose to take more seriously this year and AGAIN last month haha, I have lots of other stuff like my main career ambition (filmmaking) which is the most important thing. I’m trying to juggle it all and not feel bad if I don’t hit the milestones. However, the brands I’ve worked with and are planning to have shown me that my high-quality work IS getting noticed and they believe in me, along with all the people that read my blog and give me a positive reception, this is what humbles me.
So thank you if you read this!